Not too many – just a few to make sure your time with us is enjoyable.

Give the franchises a break and come with an open mind – just let go – that is the start of your journey of discovery.

We’ll take all reasonable requests and a certain amount of normal deviancy is encouraged but… stupidity will not be tolerated (right of admission reserved).

TV’s not provided – no extra charge for the bonding you will do with family and friends and improved relations with your significant other.

Upgrade your experience by putting a beach butler to work but beware although official rates are available extra palm greasing is encouraged…

Walk up the dune to the chill out spot is mandatory to balance you chi with your cha – though we recommend choosing a fit butler to carry your drinks.

The gin tank is conducive to overindulgence – any pain you may experience the morning after is your problem.

Displaying the correct attitude means you’ll get double ply (a right that can be withdrawn at any time).

No,… you cannot see through the glass in the bathrooms but just in case suck that tummy in.

Keep it down after 10:00pm – don’t ruin the karma for other guests!!!

That’s it, the rest is up to you. Do we have to spell it out for you? Have fun!